Three years ago I went through a spate with the grim reaper. Six people I was either related to, or were intimate with, died in rapid succession. Let’s just say, for the sake of brevity, that a Father, Grandfather, Great Uncle, Great Aunt, and two great friends were taken away to their reward, in six short months. I felt spent, empty inside, looking for some good in all of this. Nothing, strangely enough, presented itself to me. Nothing to quantify, or justify the passing of those you love.
As I said, it has been three years, three years to reflect and gain the insight I needed to deal with loss. You think you’ve got it handled. You realize that, sure it’s great to have most of your family still alive, you also realize that a serious half of them are over 65.
The day is nigh, the time is here, it’s time for some to depart this sphere.
Things change, and thankfully so. Tears turn to brighter, happier eyes, which in turn lead to happy-once-again smiles. The past is past, the lessons absorbed. Then came the realization, it’s not about the feeling of ‘here-and -today’, it’s about being a part of the greater family consciousness, whether that family is your genetic family, or your real ‘family’ of close, too close, friends.
My lead in; tonight a friend of mine found out his mother-in-law had died.She was nice, educated and erudite, which made her good company at our last two Christmas eve dinners. Despite her very apparent frailties, she muscled on. Working until shortly before last year, she held a plum position in New York City as a book editor. From what I understand, she was great at her job, and several authors loved working with her. She was accomplished in work as well as life.
Marrying Paulo her true love. Not her first love , but her true love. Paulo was there when she died, Paulo was privileged to watch her live. Paulo was her partner. What greater compliment. Sad, and tear-rendering as I write this. Oh so, so beautiful. The story, the life, the novela of a slice of life in Philadelphia, complete with a just and romantic end.
I realize now that this thing, life, is not about just now, here-and-today, it’s about always. These memories of those who have gone before us are strong, and they reinforce the way we live today, and that which I, and we, will live tomorrow, and for the rest of our lives. Hopefully when I join those I hold dear, they will be there, open handed, proud that I had upheld the standards they held dear.
A salute to all you have known, and have gone before you, god bless them for whatever good bit of them they imparted on you you know it shows, especially when you smile.