Dear Mom and Dad,
Mr. Henry, my counselor, just told us all we had to write home and tell you guys how camp is. So I am doing it.
Camp is weird. Did you know that if you eat too much cherry Jello your pee turns red? It also made Billy Worthington barf in his sleep, we thought he was dead because it was all red, but he laughed and got out of bed and slipped in it. Billy’s in the infirmary now, he bumped his head when he fell down in the barf.
Today was exciting because Mr. Tooksbury was arrested by the Sheriff. They put handcuffs on him and took him away in the police car. They also took away a big bail of green wheat from his office, I think he was planning on feeding his animals later. We will miss Mr. Tooksbury, he was always smiling and saying funny stuff. He has an eye condition, that’s why he never takes off his sunglasses.
It was sooo funny yesterday, a bunch of us boys caught Miss Butler wrestling Miss Williams in their UNDERWEAR!!! Some of the 13 year old girls said that they were from an Island called Lesbos. I don’t know where that is, but it must be cloudy because Miss Butler doesn’t really have any kind of tan. They seemed pretty mad when we surprised them in their cabin, but they laughed and pushed us out of there. They wrestle funny.
Anyway… camp is fun. I made you both lanyards, sorry Dad yours is pink, they ran out of red, white and blue. Mom, yours is lavender, Miss Butler told me that this was your favorite color. Miss Butler has a CD she made for you, she said she remembered you from Lillis Fair, or something like that.
Can you send me stuff like cookies in my next care package? The hot dogs you sent last time didn’t smell so good when they got here, I should have asked you for something else last time.
I miss you guys, tell Wally to stay out of my stuff. Did my turtle die?